So, as a proud lemming to the unnatural interest in this ridiculous competition (and being a ridiculous person myself, we actually make a good match), I present my completely informed and professional preview of the women who will be competing this weekend.
Jordyn Wieber will almost certainly win this competition and has, more importantly, already been named to the Olympic team. You may have missed the announcement because it never happened, but it's nonetheless true. There will be a lot of talk in the coming months about how every spot is up for grabs. This is a lie. She's on the team barring injury.
Wieber is the perfect gymnast for this code because of her consistency and broad skill set. But because we know she'll be part of the team, our attention turns from her strengths to the areas she needs to improve, so the big event to watch this weekend will be bars. Through savvy routine construction, John Geddert has tricked people into thinking that Wieber doesn't have a weakness, but she does and it's bars. Despite her high difficulty, she does not perform with a natural rhythm or cohesive line, and therefore needs those difficulty tenths to bump up her score. The presence of a disappointing trend in women's gymnastics, the Weiler kip, adds a general "Ode to Molasses" theme to her routine. We've been promised a reconstructed routine with improved details in 2012, and I hope to see just that because she is a likely bars worker for team finals.
Aly Raisman is the second American competitor, and I have a definite soft spot in my cold gymnastics heart for our sturdy little Massachusetts Romanian. She's becoming more comfortable in interviews and is refreshingly self-aware regarding her weaknesses. She would be the first to tell you that
artistry, flexibility, and bars are not up to the expected level. That's certainly true, but because she knows it, I can look past it. She's not out there pretending she's an awesome dancer.
Raisman is clearly a Martha favorite (we all remember the "Here's my BEAMER! Next beamer!" heard round the world from 2010), and her unflappable solidity on beam and difficulty on floor should put her in prime position heading into the summer. That being said, I still have reservations about her spot on the team because she is just so easy to overlook. She's like the Lady Edith of Team USA. She really needs to go drive a tractor and help at the convalescent hospital so she can stand out. Debuting a competent version of her long-suffering Amanar would go a long way toward helping her chances.
But speaking of which, why have I not done a Downton Abbey/Elite Gymnastics conversion before? Nastia is Lady Mary, obviously. Martha is the Dowager Countess. Bruno Grandi and Nellie Kim are Thomas and O'Brien. Is Kim Zmeskal Anna? She would totally help Nastia carry the body of her dead Turkish lover back to his own bedroom, if you know what I mean.
Moving on, after the jump I'll look at the international competitors who have been kind enough to offer to play the roles of the Washington Generals on Saturday.
Kelli Hill is Carson.
OK, now I'm really done.
Raisman is clearly a Martha favorite (we all remember the "Here's my BEAMER! Next beamer!" heard round the world from 2010), and her unflappable solidity on beam and difficulty on floor should put her in prime position heading into the summer. That being said, I still have reservations about her spot on the team because she is just so easy to overlook. She's like the Lady Edith of Team USA. She really needs to go drive a tractor and help at the convalescent hospital so she can stand out. Debuting a competent version of her long-suffering Amanar would go a long way toward helping her chances.
But speaking of which, why have I not done a Downton Abbey/Elite Gymnastics conversion before? Nastia is Lady Mary, obviously. Martha is the Dowager Countess. Bruno Grandi and Nellie Kim are Thomas and O'Brien. Is Kim Zmeskal Anna? She would totally help Nastia carry the body of her dead Turkish lover back to his own bedroom, if you know what I mean.
Moving on, after the jump I'll look at the international competitors who have been kind enough to offer to play the roles of the Washington Generals on Saturday.
Kelli Hill is Carson.
OK, now I'm really done.